Divorce Mess - House awarded to wife, loan on my name

Dear anyone,

I am perhaps one of the strangest cases here -or at least so I think. During our marriage, my ex-wife and I had bought two houses and at divorce time we spit it down the middle.

By divorce decree, that she now wields like some sort of prize, she was awarded the home that is now under a very real possibility of foreclosing. This home, mind you, is under my name as well as the loan... yeah... exactly...

Our decree stated that she needed to refi the home under her name in June 2006 and she did not. I, in my very finite wisdom, let that go since she was making the payments and seemed she was not going to have any problems. She even bought other properties and moved out of the house.

Unfortunately, she lost her job and now cannot make payments on the house. I cannot refinance as I don't live there and I am at a loss as to what to do. If I choose to take her to court it will take me months before I can even get there -nevermind the $5000 retainers that lawyers ask. If I try to sel she does not want to. If I try to rent she makes up a story. On top of that I am 1000 miles away now...

So I don't know what to do. I have been making the payments for 6 months and now all my savings are gone, my ex is unwilling to help and is essentially blackmailing me with that piece of paper...hit twice by the same person....

The home is already two months late and Ocwen customer service is so useless I am not sure what to do. By the way, Ocwen service is plain terrible. They patch you call to India and it is virtually impossible to speak with a person responsible for anything. They all want to send the' 'packet' and do not allow themselves to understand. It is very difficult to explain this situation to a person that truly does not empathize at all.

Is there anything anybody can say to help?



New Member Guide & Litton Success
Hi Mercury chrome welcome out forum:

I wanted to stop in say hello and assure you, you are not alone. Shortly someone will be reaching out to you with some sound advice/suggestions. In the interim please hang in there and know that we are here for you. :)

Moe Bedard

Call 1-800-779-4547
Staff member
Loan Safe Mortgage
Hi Mercury Chrome,

Welcome to the forum and thank you for joining............

Here is contact info for Ocwen to get you into the right dept........

Loan Resolution Dept.
Fax# 1-407-737-5693

Early Intervention Dept.


LoanSafe Member
My husband is pretty much in the same situation. The house he has with the ex is in his name only... It's in AZ and the balance owed is 89,000 - When he left he left her with a 700 a month house payment (who can't afford that) she was to refinance into her name and he wanted nothing but out of the marriage- She gets $1439.08 a month in Child support but she is behind and has been since 2000 when he left.. She went 4 months behind and Countywide worked out a payment plan with her, my husband won't talk to them he told them to foreclose on her and get it done with. Well they worked with her and continue to do so even though she pays 2 months and then doesn't pay the 3rd month and has had the same payment pattern for years.. His credit is shot and he doesn't care anymore he just wants the house to go bye bye.... The payment is now a little over 1200 a month now and last month she paid 958 and she is 1200 behind in her escrow account... Its all a game with her, she clearly gets enough money to pay the payment. Once he remarried the chit hit the fan and the games began. Needless to say it's a really sad situation but what can you do. We have spoke to an attorney and he said the best thing to do is let it foreclose because there is no judge that is going to kick a mother and her kids (whom are all teenagers) out on the street... Me, I don't see it that way, it's not fair to my husband who pays his child support... Good luck to you and really try to not let her run your life....

loansafe.org saved my home
success #65​


LoanSafe Member
Funny. I had a co worker in the same situation. Let her have the house and turn your back on what happens. The damage is done. In my friends case his ex was also irresponsible and let the house go and though a blow to him because he ries to be on the ball, it was a relief to him to let her sink. As for the kid's, she has custody and if the bottom falls out completely and they need him for their care, he can still be there likety split. But don't let the house be a burden. Let mom figure things out. My ex let the hose the court gave her go into foreclosure 18 years ago and filed bankruptcy. I was happy to see that the house she owned in Desert Hot Springs with her new husband has also foreclosed recently. I was going to share this site with her...but I couldn't bring myself to it. Bad me. Anyway let the house go and wait for the next twist without that strain.
I appreciate your message (and everyone else's). Amazingly my ex wife and house are also in AZ and, you are right, it is about revenge, hatred and money. Anyone can understand a hardship situation and I was willing to help so we started a process to try and refinance, here is what happened:

0. During our marriage --> she works in the mortgage industry... She tells me she is going to Re-Fi and I ask for a fixed 30-year loan because things cannot go that way forever and we needed to protect ourselves. She tells me to shove the crystal ball and that variable is better payment and we proceed to fight for months (4) I finally caved. She also pushes me to buy more investment properties, I tell her it is reckless to get into this kind of debt and I say no, final answer. She HATES me for that.

1. Payment Jumps --> to $1800 from $1200..we are already divorced. She complains, I proceed to remind her of the crystal ball and crow at the fact that I was right. Here is when things start going south on the industry.

2. Mortgage and rent --> She tells me she cannot make the mortgage payments. The house is now rented and the "renter" pays $1000. She cannot make the extra $800. After a while no payment is made and I have to step in. She sends the "renters" half then she stops. My girlfriend tells me she is pocketing the money (rent from "renter") I agree but determine that the best course of action is to refinance to lower payments since it is clear she won't pay, my credit was the most important thing to me (it was 715 when we started this, it is now at 400)

3. Appraisal --> I pay $415 for an appraisal that took 5 weeks. Why? the "renter" was in the house and the house apparently flooded (yard) so it took 5 weeks. I lost that money, read below.

4. Re-Fi --> Countrywide came back with an unbelievable offer from $1800 the payment was to be $1200, she said it was too expensive. This Re-Fi was under my name because she can't afford it. My credit is now showing 2 late payments and a collections from a leased vehicle that she returned and did not pay so I cannot get the same offer again but the offer from CW is still open.

5. Wrap Loan --> She came with an offer to do this loan with the "renter" so I needed to sign the title over to this guy while the loan was under my name, so the house would have been awarded to her in court, the title would have been under this dude, and the loan under my name. I told her to stop doing drugs even the supreme court would be confused.

6. Re-Fi 2 --> Under intense pressure from me she finally said ok to the Re-Fi loan but she insisted that she needed to know the details on the loan because "people" told her I might try and take the home away from her. So she started wielding the divorce decree to CW.

7. CW cancels Re-Fi --> the decree determines is not my property so CW says see ya.

8. Renter disappears --> Now that the home is in credible foreclosure risk the "renter" now disappears. She claims he has not paid rent and that he vanished. I had to now make the full payments and the house was 15 days away from foreclosure procedures.


LoanSafe Member
Well if I were you I would take her a$$ back to court.. I sure wish my ex would but since there are kids he won't.. He just says one day they will see her for what she is...... Boy this sure brings up all the bad memories for me and just pisses me off when ex's have to try and screw someone over just because they are divorced and have moved on.......


loansafe.org saved my home
success # 65​
What is a Buy Back Option?

I am not sure if this is possible but I am hearing this more and more. I am an owner of a house that is not mine. How did that happen? My ex-Wife got it in the divorce decree, the loan and title were in my name, she couldn't refinance and decided to walk away... on me, twice. :mad:

Besides the obvious fact of the really bad choice I made, is there a way for me to stop this blood loss? :( I have already successfully managed to get the loan modified by Ocwen in a incredible process that was as painful as most of you already know. From the customer service calls in India to the losing of docs to redoing everything twice to the cursory denial to the "please help" begging sessions to the modification that was more a joke than anything else. :eek:

In any event, I recently heard that CW was buying back homes. Is this a good option? Is it possible? :confused: As far as I know that home is not upside down yet so it should not be a short sale, is a buy back the same as a deed in lieu of? I need help. Has anyone done this with Ocwen?

HELP! thank you! :)


LoanSafe Member
House awarded to ex but has renegged on payment

since this happened over 2 years ago, can you tell me what has happened since then? more specifically, did the house foreclose and did the bank come after you for the ex-spouse not paying the mortgage? I'm going through this exact thing as we speak. The ex has qualified for a loan modification but it has to have my signature to go through. If I don't sign I've been instructed by Suntrust Mortgage that they will come after me for half the loan amount. I don't understand this as he was awarded the house in the divorce. There was never an actual date in which the "ex" had to refinance and have the house out of my name. I have spoken with my attorney on this matter and he has stated that we can file a contempt of court for the mortgage. Suntrust Mortgage has told me that they did not release me from the debt and it doesn't matter whether the "ex" was awarded the house or not. I am still responsible for 50% of the mortgage if the house falls into foreclosure. The "ex" has decided to wait until the last moment to spring this on me. I suppose in hopes that he will bait or bully me into signing to cover his ass. I don't want to have the house go into foreclosure because my daughter does visit him every other weekend. However, I cannot afford to bail him out and have him in this same situation before he is able to refinance in 12 to 15 months.
Someone out there...PLEASE GIVE ME ANSWERS....

So, if you can share what has happened to you that would be GREAT. I have exactly 3 days to make the decision on what to do.
Thanks so much.
Exhausted and frustrated beyond belief....


LoanSafe Member
hi teresastory,

My story is similar to yours except the tables are turned. I went through a rough Divorce which ended 2009. At that point my house was 12 months behind. My Ex decided to bail out of the marriage, and he depleted my credit cards. He also filed Chapter 7 surrendering the home. Since I have three kids I started my quest to save my home going on almost 2 years. I finally got a trial Remodification. I told BOFA I was divorced they asked for a Divorce Decree,Quit Claim Deed, Income etc. I provided them with everything they asked for. But when I opened the Remodification it had both our names on it! I thought it was a mistake being that BOFA asked for the the Documents. When I called the BOFA Rep. he advised me that I am the owner, BUT that my Ex is still responsible for the Mortgage, and that I wouldn't be able to Modify the loan without his signature. My only options were, 1) Refinance (which he killed my credit and I don't qualify. 2) Sell the house! which is way underwater/backpayments 3) Deceased ! Which he is alive and thats not an option.

If my ex after filing CH7 signs the Mod. documents at the end of the trial period. That will make him responsible, but not an owner. I just got promoted at work, so I am able to make the Trial amounts and if that payment becomes Perm. I wont have a problem paying my bills. It would be more expensive to rent! my house is a 4 bedroom 2 bath.

I told my Ex if I lose the house my kids will have to live with him. He answered " If the bank leaves the house at the mod. amt. he will sign the papers. I Guess he will do anything not to take the kids.

He has no legal claim to the property not responsible for taxes nothing but the Mortgage. if in 10 years the market goes up I sell the house he does need to sign AGAIN. But cannot claim any $ if any at sale time.

I know you have a rough Decision! It's unfortunate that even if you are awarded the house and have a Quit Claim deed. the Ex is still 50% responsible.

If your ex falls behind the Bank go after you. You should not have to be responsible.

I even tried to replace my Ex's name with my Brother who is a Doctor! the bank said I can't switch responsibility.


LoanSafe Member
Divorce mess-foreclosure or sign modification

Thanks so much for sharing your story. I have done well to get my credit back to good standing on my own only to have the exhusband decide not to pay the mortgage payments on a house he was awarded at the divorce hearing. Unfortunately, my legal counsel didn't follow through with anything when it came to the award of the property. There was mention of me doing a "quick claim deed" which everyone knows that only takes me off the title of house and if sold I wouldn't get any money from the house. Unfortunately, my counsel didn't give a date at which the exhusband had to refinance or sell the property. Being that I have never needed a lawyer for anything in my life I had no idea that there were certain things that needed to follow the "award" of the house. Now I've figured out why they say "awarded to" in the divorce decree. The "award" is that I'm being screwed yet again by the ex because of his negligence in not paying the mortgage and now my credit is tanked and the bank will come after me for my part of the nonpayment on foreclosure. So now I'm faced with letting the house be foreclosed on or bailing the ex out of a mortgage that, clearly, he can no longer afford.

I wonder if I can force him into selling the house by saving his ass on a foreclosure and sign the modification paperwork? My problem is that if he needs to do a loan modification agreement now and I bail him out where's the assurance that he won't be in the same mess in 12 months and the house gets foreclosed on anyhow? I've signed the paperwork and I'm screwed.....another reason why I'm divorced...he never thinks things through and how his decisions will affect anyone else.

I'm in total turmoil over this matter at the moment. I don't sign I risk never being able to own a house again. My credit (that I have worked very hard to keep afloat) being tanked and the bank coming after me for 50% of the loan amount. OR...I can sign the paperwork, bail the ex out and hope to hell that he pays every month, on time and that a bank will pick him up in 12 months to refinance in his name. The likelihood of that happened....I don't know. So again, either I'm screwed. :(


LoanSafe Member
I know you have a dificult decision to make. That DOEST SEEM FAIR. It's like dam if you do! dam if you dont! Either sign and pray he doesnt default or let it go into foreclosure. Which S**Ks on your credit, that you have worked hard to maintain. Will his credit be good in 12 months that he will be able to Refinance? Hopefully the answer is yes.

If you sign and he gets the modification and is having trouble paying. WORST SENERIO .....Can he just rent out the house and have it pay itself . I am not sure how that works with a mod.

Sorry your stressed. hope everything works out for you.


LoanSafe Member
Ody35 - the decision has been made. After speaking with my attorney I am convinced that it would be a HUGE mistake to sign the Loan Modification Agreement with the ex-spouse. As it stands the judge awarded the house and all responsibilities
of payment to the ex. The ex said that he could afford the house but did not plan for his military retirement and didn't budget accordingly. If I were to sign the modification I'm stating that I am ok with being responsible to the bank for the mortgage. I'm not quite sure how it will affect my credit but I would hope that by showing the bank the divorce decree that they would take that into consideration and it wouldn't ruin my credit. That is still yet to be seen. I will keep you posted on that turn of events.
If anyone has an update, please let me know. Any advice is good whether your a lawyer on not.

This is a very easy position to be placed in while going through a divorce. You get legally positioned this way since all you want is out of paying expensive attorney fees. The responsible party can end up getting billed more (i.e. future debt of unpaid mortgage, taxes), while irresponsible party walks away with a guaranteed alimony payment and clean credit.

In the event of a job loss, all I can do is rack up more debt paying court appointed Spousal support and Child support payments. With attorney fees involved, there is no way to out to get legal help.

Family divorce decrees do nothing but state the other party ATTEMPTS to do something. Enforcing it that action, or making it happening are two different things.

Can I surrender the property? It's more cost effective to just pay her directly what's is in equity and give the home back to bank. If she sues me, then that's another matter I will have to deal with at later time. Is there a way to minimize the financial damage.
Ex Abandons Me

All this divorce crap is depressing.
My situation is the flip side of most here. I was married 18 yrs to a man in the ministry. We married at 21 and I worked hard and became a business owner at age 24. This allowed me to support him while he worked part-time jobs as a youth pastor with short spurts of side jobs to help support. Then I paid his way through seminary where he earned his masters in divinity then we moved to WA where he had his first full time ministry job (10 yrs into marriage). I never complained about any of this in our marriage as I fully supported and actively helped in his ministry. I sold my successful business to move to WA. He stayed at that job for his typical two years. Right after he quit I had a stroke at age 33. I brought him in to my business as a sales rep and we made very good money which paid for all my medical and put a nice nest egg in savings. He then talked me into opening my own retail business and (shocker) he shortly quit the high paying job (which we had agreed he would keep) and forced his way into my business. Year and half later economy tanks along with my health while he goes overboard in business spending money that it not there. He then talks me into taking out $88,000 mortgage line of credit he promptly uses to buy more high end furniture for the store-none of which sells in the city it was in. He then talks me into bankruptcy while my health hits rock bottom and docs are scratching their heads. We close stores. I am finally diagnosed with very rare Cushing's Disease caused by brain tumor. He could care less. Gets job with Navy Exchange running furniture store using all my experience as his own on is resume then promptly gets a mistress from work which I find out 2 weeks before my brain surgery. His new job moves us to other side of state so we rent house out, which pays mortage and part of interest only line of credit. Following surgery he leaves me penniless and disabled, first time in my life I am unable to work. He stops paying ALL bills: current rent, 2 cars, utilities and uses rental income to fund affair. Gets mistress pregnant. Leaves me the house in divorce. Two years later I have kept up with payments, being as much as two month late when house sat empty, but catching up using my disability. I'm in the hole about $6,000 a year and cannot afford that being disabled. The house is in hole about $30,000 only because of stupid mortgage line of credit that doubles what is owed on house. He promised to help pay it down since the money was not used on any home improvements but when I remind him of that he says too bad-not in divorce. He's in Japan now, which means he is making a ton of money with huge federal benefits.
I am now looking into foreclosure process because I cannot afford to bleed myself dry but both our names are still on mortgage and mortgage line of credit. Divorce gives no deadline for me to refinance, but no being able to work and with the bankruptcy my credit is tanked.
Worried about:
1. tenants suing for breach of lease
2. having to pay remaining amount of mortgage with citimortgage and line of credit with usaa
3. (as advice above) ex filing contempt of court
4. ex stop paying alimony out of spite

Anyone been in this position? What happened? Any advice is greatly appreciated!!!


LoanSafe Member
PROBLEM (in chronological order as this nightmare unfolded)

-divorce finalized 2 years ago. We had 3 kids together and their primary residence is with my ex in the home we formerly occupied together. My ex and I took out the loan together 10 years ago.

-I was a smart to do most of the divorce agreement myself in order to save money and continue to climb out of the debt I had accrued while married to my ex: except for the mortgage section in the agreement which screwed me. For this part, if I could go back in time: I would definitely have spent several thousand dollars for counsel.

-quote of the mortgage section:
"Real Property
...The Wife shall have full and exclusive possession of the property and shall use it as a primary residence for herself and the minor children. It is further contemplated that by refinance or other mechanism, the Wife shall take full ownership of the property and the Husband's name shall be removed from the title via a quit claim deed from the Husband to the Wife. Both parties acknowledge that their joint and several financial liabilities to the current mortgagee will remain in full force and effect until such time as a refinance or sale can be undertaken. The Wife will be responsible for the mortgage, taxes, insurance and other maintenance costs of the property and any equity resulting from a refinance or sale of the property shall become the exclusive property of the wife. The Husband hereby agree to execute and transfer any documentation necessary to effectuate the aforementioned refinance or sale and to participate in a timely and unconditional manner to complete same. It should be noted that the timing of these intentions will be affected by income and market forces not currently known."

-a few months after the divorce was finalized and the above agreement was filed with the court, my ex requested I sign a quit claim deed per the divorce agreement. I thought the agreement above was very clear in that it required her to refinance and take my name off. She also assured me this was what she was going to use it for. I signed the quit claim deed and mailed it to her: biggest mistake of my life so far (besides marrying her): I didn't know about loan modifications. My strategy was that, if she didn't achieve the refinance in her name only: I would be pleased to just have the mortgage company foreclose on the property, force a sale and I would deal with the bankruptcy/ whatever after the fact, re-build and move on.

-she took the quit claim deed, and over the next 6 months: took my name off the deed (and title? I think too) and then proceeded to miss payments for 5 months straight in order to qualify for the loan modification (at least this is my understanding).

-When she sent me the papers for the Loan Modification I was like "crap" what is this loan modification thing? I looked into it and an attorney advised me no way in heck don't sign anything having to do with that loan modification. I didn't.

-I just thought it would be absolutely illegal to approve the loan modification without my signature. How can it be legal to modify the terms of a loan agreement with another party's name on the loan without requiring their signature? Well: yep: found out the hard way this is what the quit claim deed allowed. I am still in shock.

-By the time I found out the Loan Modification had been approved: I had already gone through a 6 month process where I filed a contempt of court motion to force her to refinance because I hadn't seen any proof that she was pursuing this. At one point, the judge issued the following order:
"The matter is continued to [gave a date 2 months from that hearing]. At that time, paintiff [my ex] is to provide an update in the refinancing or sale of the marital home such as verification from the mortgage company that the refinance is pending, how long it will take to approve or proof that the house has been placed up for sale."
I was elated leaving that hearing.

-I showed up for court 2 months later on the date the order specified anticipating freedom from this loan one way or another via court order from this judge: and I couldn't believe it: a new judge! I thought: by the end of that hearing I was left with the impression that he needed a lot more time to review the details of the case (the previous judge had the benefit of becoming familiar with my ex' shenanigans and BS over the course of our case the previous year so I believe she had lost patience with my ex). I left court that day quit unsettled about what was going to happen.

-to make a long story short: 4 months later, my ex had achieved the loan modification without my signature, filed the quit claim deed and the loan modification with the court and the judge abruptly closed the hearings into the forcing of the refinance! I couldn't believe it! I am still in shock!

-I hired an Atty to write a letter to the mortgage company to try and negotiate taking my name off with them directly: this was before I knew how deeply I was screwed and that it appears this is all perfectly legal technically (to approve a loan mod without my signature if the mortgage company has the divorce agreement plus my signature on the quit claim deed).

-He accomplished exactly NOTHING as far as being able to negotiate with the mortgage company directly to take my name off the loan.

-This is where it all currently stand at present. A big old fat nightmare and mess for me.

-To top it off, I was remarried a year ago and my wife and I are trying to move on, buy a house, and save for retirement and all that. This loan puts a major damper on things: at any point my ex will likely keep wrecking my credit through late payments, my DTI ratio is severely hampered, She can obtain additional loan modification into perpetuity (the loan modification she did achieve reset the terms of the loan an additional 8 years already, she'll probably get second, third etc mortgages on the home, in the end she will probably go bankrupt given her money management mismanagement skills.

-I just need my name off the loan and be done with the divorce. This is the final link in the heavy, most onerous of chains to this horrendously , ghoulish, hauntingly creepy and dishonest manipulative, narcissistic scumbag of an ex.


I am finding out a lot about the problems with my situation: there is a lot of information available about what the problem s are in my situation. I believe I get it now: at last as far as I've outlined the problem above.

What is the solution(s) that have been successful if there are any?

Has anyone heard of anyone successfully removing their name from the loan given the variables I've outlined?

My best approach I can think of right now to get my name off as soon as possible:

-hire an attorney that specializes in this sort of thing
-use my $36K per year war chest I'm partitioning off of my yearly financial budget to pay an attorney to get my name off this mortgage loan once and for all
-Here are a few ideas that I think will strengthen my case before a judge (maybe civil instead of family court?)

1. I can easily put together documentation that demonstrates that she did no fulfill her part of the agreement to pay the mortgage in the last 2 years. There was a five month period (plus a few others, I believe here and there) where she was late with the payment, and or didn't pay at all adding up to indications on my credit report/ mortgage payment history that she was 120+ days late at one point. My credit score was destroyed: it was down to like 519 at one point. I've had a couple of experts review my entire debt payment history in conjunction with my credit score history and they've told me that without those late/ non-payments on the house that she was legally obligated to make: my score would be up in the low-mid 800s and never would have gone down in the last 4 years. She ruined my credit score by not fulfilling her contractual obligations + I have to worry she will do it again. Plus: the divorce agreement requires that she does refinance at some point but when? I would argue if not immediately to avoid the risk to my credit score on an ongoing basis, at least there needs to be some deadline, date setup by the court for when this must happen by.

2. Accordingly, ask a judge/ the judge to order a timeline for refinance and if the ex can't do it within that timeling (maybe 6 months) he order it undergo a short sale.

2. Does a common law marriage and forcing her to refinance in the name of her live in boyfriend bolster my case (he has been living there for 2 years or so?) They just hide a child together: I hope this wouldn't strengthen the courts position that they aren't going to kick my ex out of the home by forcing a short sale. The mortgage payment, according to my calculations is 53% of her pre-tax income which includes all of the child support I pay. Surely this man is helping with household expenses including the mortgage payment?