PROBLEM (in chronological order as this nightmare unfolded)
-divorce finalized 2 years ago. We had 3 kids together and their primary residence is with my ex in the home we formerly occupied together. My ex and I took out the loan together 10 years ago.
-I was a smart to do most of the divorce agreement myself in order to save money and continue to climb out of the debt I had accrued while married to my ex: except for the mortgage section in the agreement which screwed me. For this part, if I could go back in time: I would definitely have spent several thousand dollars for counsel.
-quote of the mortgage section:
"Real Property
...The Wife shall have full and exclusive possession of the property and shall use it as a primary residence for herself and the minor children. It is further contemplated that by refinance or other mechanism, the Wife shall take full ownership of the property and the Husband's name shall be removed from the title via a quit claim deed from the Husband to the Wife. Both parties acknowledge that their joint and several financial liabilities to the current mortgagee will remain in full force and effect until such time as a refinance or sale can be undertaken. The Wife will be responsible for the mortgage, taxes, insurance and other maintenance costs of the property and any equity resulting from a refinance or sale of the property shall become the exclusive property of the wife. The Husband hereby agree to execute and transfer any documentation necessary to effectuate the aforementioned refinance or sale and to participate in a timely and unconditional manner to complete same. It should be noted that the timing of these intentions will be affected by income and market forces not currently known."
-a few months after the divorce was finalized and the above agreement was filed with the court, my ex requested I sign a quit claim deed per the divorce agreement. I thought the agreement above was very clear in that it required her to refinance and take my name off. She also assured me this was what she was going to use it for. I signed the quit claim deed and mailed it to her: biggest mistake of my life so far (besides marrying her): I didn't know about loan modifications. My strategy was that, if she didn't achieve the refinance in her name only: I would be pleased to just have the mortgage company foreclose on the property, force a sale and I would deal with the bankruptcy/ whatever after the fact, re-build and move on.
-she took the quit claim deed, and over the next 6 months: took my name off the deed (and title? I think too) and then proceeded to miss payments for 5 months straight in order to qualify for the loan modification (at least this is my understanding).
-When she sent me the papers for the Loan Modification I was like "crap" what is this loan modification thing? I looked into it and an attorney advised me no way in heck don't sign anything having to do with that loan modification. I didn't.
-I just thought it would be absolutely illegal to approve the loan modification without my signature. How can it be legal to modify the terms of a loan agreement with another party's name on the loan without requiring their signature? Well: yep: found out the hard way this is what the quit claim deed allowed. I am still in shock.
-By the time I found out the Loan Modification had been approved: I had already gone through a 6 month process where I filed a contempt of court motion to force her to refinance because I hadn't seen any proof that she was pursuing this. At one point, the judge issued the following order:
"The matter is continued to [gave a date 2 months from that hearing]. At that time, paintiff [my ex] is to provide an update in the refinancing or sale of the marital home such as verification from the mortgage company that the refinance is pending, how long it will take to approve or proof that the house has been placed up for sale."
I was elated leaving that hearing.
-I showed up for court 2 months later on the date the order specified anticipating freedom from this loan one way or another via court order from this judge: and I couldn't believe it: a new judge! I thought: by the end of that hearing I was left with the impression that he needed a lot more time to review the details of the case (the previous judge had the benefit of becoming familiar with my ex' shenanigans and BS over the course of our case the previous year so I believe she had lost patience with my ex). I left court that day quit unsettled about what was going to happen.
-to make a long story short: 4 months later, my ex had achieved the loan modification without my signature, filed the quit claim deed and the loan modification with the court and the judge abruptly closed the hearings into the forcing of the refinance! I couldn't believe it! I am still in shock!
-I hired an Atty to write a letter to the mortgage company to try and negotiate taking my name off with them directly: this was before I knew how deeply I was screwed and that it appears this is all perfectly legal technically (to approve a loan mod without my signature if the mortgage company has the divorce agreement plus my signature on the quit claim deed).
-He accomplished exactly NOTHING as far as being able to negotiate with the mortgage company directly to take my name off the loan.
-This is where it all currently stand at present. A big old fat nightmare and mess for me.
-To top it off, I was remarried a year ago and my wife and I are trying to move on, buy a house, and save for retirement and all that. This loan puts a major damper on things: at any point my ex will likely keep wrecking my credit through late payments, my DTI ratio is severely hampered, She can obtain additional loan modification into perpetuity (the loan modification she did achieve reset the terms of the loan an additional 8 years already, she'll probably get second, third etc mortgages on the home, in the end she will probably go bankrupt given her money management mismanagement skills.
-I just need my name off the loan and be done with the divorce. This is the final link in the heavy, most onerous of chains to this horrendously , ghoulish, hauntingly creepy and dishonest manipulative, narcissistic scumbag of an ex.
QUESTION/ NEED FOR ADVISE:
I am finding out a lot about the problems with my situation: there is a lot of information available about what the problem s are in my situation. I believe I get it now: at last as far as I've outlined the problem above.
What is the solution(s) that have been successful if there are any?
Has anyone heard of anyone successfully removing their name from the loan given the variables I've outlined?
My best approach I can think of right now to get my name off as soon as possible:
-hire an attorney that specializes in this sort of thing
-use my $36K per year war chest I'm partitioning off of my yearly financial budget to pay an attorney to get my name off this mortgage loan once and for all
-Here are a few ideas that I think will strengthen my case before a judge (maybe civil instead of family court?)
1. I can easily put together documentation that demonstrates that she did no fulfill her part of the agreement to pay the mortgage in the last 2 years. There was a five month period (plus a few others, I believe here and there) where she was late with the payment, and or didn't pay at all adding up to indications on my credit report/ mortgage payment history that she was 120+ days late at one point. My credit score was destroyed: it was down to like 519 at one point. I've had a couple of experts review my entire debt payment history in conjunction with my credit score history and they've told me that without those late/ non-payments on the house that she was legally obligated to make: my score would be up in the low-mid 800s and never would have gone down in the last 4 years. She ruined my credit score by not fulfilling her contractual obligations + I have to worry she will do it again. Plus: the divorce agreement requires that she does refinance at some point but when? I would argue if not immediately to avoid the risk to my credit score on an ongoing basis, at least there needs to be some deadline, date setup by the court for when this must happen by.
2. Accordingly, ask a judge/ the judge to order a timeline for refinance and if the ex can't do it within that timeling (maybe 6 months) he order it undergo a short sale.
2. Does a common law marriage and forcing her to refinance in the name of her live in boyfriend bolster my case (he has been living there for 2 years or so?) They just hide a child together: I hope this wouldn't strengthen the courts position that they aren't going to kick my ex out of the home by forcing a short sale. The mortgage payment, according to my calculations is 53% of her pre-tax income which includes all of the child support I pay. Surely this man is helping with household expenses including the mortgage payment?
