Bookseller conducting a market survey

FedUp02

LoanSafe Member
Apr 26, 2009
996
109
43
Bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman – “Which book has
helped you most in your life?” The woman replied, “My husband’s check book!!”
******
A prospective husband in a book store “Do you have a book called
‘Husband – the Master of the House?’"
Sales girl: “Sir, fiction and comics are on the 1st floor!”
******
Someone asked an old man: “Even after 79 years, you still call your
wife – darling, honey, luv. What’s the secret?"
Old man: “I forgot her name and I’m scared to ask her."
Bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman – “Which book has
helped you most in your life?” The woman replied, “My husband’s check book!!”
******
A prospective husband in a book store “Do you have a book called
‘Husband – the Master of the House?’"
Sales girl: “Sir, fiction and comics are on the 1st floor!”
******
Someone asked an old man: “Even after 79 years, you still call your
wife – darling, honey, luv. What’s the secret?"
Old man: “I forgot her name and I’m scared to ask her."
******
Pharmacist to customer: “Sir, please understand, to buy an
anti-depression pill you need a proper prescription ...
Simply showing marriage certificate and wife’s picture is not enough!
******
For MEN.....and WOMEN with a bit of humor??
A man was granted two wishes by God.

He asked for the best drink & the best woman ever. Next moment he got
Swiss mineral water & Mother Teresa.
******
There are 3 kinds of men in this world. Some remain single and make
wonders happen. Some have girlfriends and see wonders happen.
Many get married and wonder what happened!?
******
Wives are magicians. They can change anything into an argument.
******
Why do women live a Better, Longer & Peaceful Life, compared to men?
A very INTELLIGENT student replied: "Because Women don't have a wife!"

******
COOL MESSAGE BY A WIFE: Dear Mother-in-law, Don't teach me how to
handle my children. I am living with one of yours and he needs a lot
of improvement!?
******
When a married man says, I WILL THINK ABOUT IT -
what he really means is that he doesn't know his wife's opinion yet.
******
A lady says to her doctor: "My husband has a habit of talking in his
sleep! What should I give him to cure it?"
The doctor replies: "Give him an opportunity to speak when he's awake! "

******
Pharmacist to customer: “Sir, please understand, to buy an
anti-depression pill you need a proper prescription …
Simply showing marriage certificate and wife’s picture is not enough!
******
For MEN.....and WOMEN with a bit of humor??
A man was granted two wishes by God.

He asked for the best drink & the best woman ever. Next moment he got
Swiss mineral water & Mother Teresa.
******
There are 3 kinds of men in this world. Some remain single and make
wonders happen. Some have girlfriends and see wonders happen.
Many get married and wonder what happened!?
******
Wives are magicians. They can change anything into an argument.
******
Why do women live a Better, Longer & Peaceful Life, compared to men?
A very INTELLIGENT student replied: "Because Women don't have a wife!"

******
COOL MESSAGE BY A WIFE: Dear Mother-in-law, Don't teach me how to
handle my children. I am living with one of yours and he needs a lot
of improvement!?
******
When a married man says, I WILL THINK ABOUT IT -
what he really means is that he doesn't know his wife's opinion yet.
******
A lady says to her doctor: "My husband has a habit of talking in his
sleep! What should I give him to cure it?"
The doctor replies: "Give him an opportunity to speak when he's awake! "
 
  • Like
Reactions: CAbooboo

CAbooboo

LoanSafe Member
Jan 22, 2017
66
9
8
OMG
Just found this post by accident.
Thank you - Really needed the humor!
Cut n pasted n will pass along
 

wanda robo

LoanSafe Member
Sep 29, 2012
3,936
634
113
NJ
Bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman – “Which book has
helped you most in your life?” The woman replied, “My husband’s check book!!”
******
A prospective husband in a book store “Do you have a book called
‘Husband – the Master of the House?’"
Sales girl: “Sir, fiction and comics are on the 1st floor!”
******
Someone asked an old man: “Even after 79 years, you still call your
wife – darling, honey, luv. What’s the secret?"
Old man: “I forgot her name and I’m scared to ask her."
Bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman – “Which book has
helped you most in your life?” The woman replied, “My husband’s check book!!”
******
A prospective husband in a book store “Do you have a book called
‘Husband – the Master of the House?’"
Sales girl: “Sir, fiction and comics are on the 1st floor!”
******
Someone asked an old man: “Even after 79 years, you still call your
wife – darling, honey, luv. What’s the secret?"
Old man: “I forgot her name and I’m scared to ask her."
******
Pharmacist to customer: “Sir, please understand, to buy an
anti-depression pill you need a proper prescription ...
Simply showing marriage certificate and wife’s picture is not enough!
******
For MEN.....and WOMEN with a bit of humor??
A man was granted two wishes by God.

He asked for the best drink & the best woman ever. Next moment he got

Swiss mineral water & Mother Teresa.
******
There are 3 kinds of men in this world. Some remain single and make
wonders happen. Some have girlfriends and see wonders happen.
Many get married and wonder what happened!?
******
Wives are magicians. They can change anything into an argument.
******
Why do women live a Better, Longer & Peaceful Life, compared to men?
A very INTELLIGENT student replied: "Because Women don't have a wife!"

******
COOL MESSAGE BY A WIFE: Dear Mother-in-law, Don't teach me how to
handle my children. I am living with one of yours and he needs a lot
of improvement!?
******
When a married man says, I WILL THINK ABOUT IT -
what he really means is that he doesn't know his wife's opinion yet.
******
A lady says to her doctor: "My husband has a habit of talking in his
sleep! What should I give him to cure it?"
The doctor replies: "Give him an opportunity to speak when he's awake! "
******
Pharmacist to customer: “Sir, please understand, to buy an
anti-depression pill you need a proper prescription …
Simply showing marriage certificate and wife’s picture is not enough!
******
For MEN.....and WOMEN with a bit of humor??
A man was granted two wishes by God.

He asked for the best drink & the best woman ever. Next moment he got
Swiss mineral water & Mother Teresa.
******
There are 3 kinds of men in this world. Some remain single and make
wonders happen. Some have girlfriends and see wonders happen.
Many get married and wonder what happened!?
******
Wives are magicians. They can change anything into an argument.
******
Why do women live a Better, Longer & Peaceful Life, compared to men?
A very INTELLIGENT student replied: "Because Women don't have a wife!"

******
COOL MESSAGE BY A WIFE: Dear Mother-in-law, Don't teach me how to
handle my children. I am living with one of yours and he needs a lot
of improvement!?
******
When a married man says, I WILL THINK ABOUT IT -
what he really means is that he doesn't know his wife's opinion yet.
******
A lady says to her doctor: "My husband has a habit of talking in his
sleep! What should I give him to cure it?"
The doctor replies: "Give him an opportunity to speak when he's awake! "

Hey you, this has been a long time coming! We forget sometimes how to laugh...
 

wanda robo

LoanSafe Member
Sep 29, 2012
3,936
634
113
NJ
My Dear, Dear Friend. I'd like to share a story. (LOL on bagels it would be a "wanda rant").

I got tired of looking like a skunk with my gray roots showing(I wish I never dyed my hair to begin with. Vanity is a sin in my book). So I dyed my roots, just couldn't stand how they looked. Hating every minute, when it came time to dry my hair I took a shortcut. I swear to God when I looked in the mirror I saw Nancy Pelosi. I don't wear makeup, but I swear Nancy was staring at me. So hubby & I played it out. I made him put my Grandmother's pearl necklace on me & I put on a silk shirt that I never wear. I stood behind the sofa because my bottoms were sweat pants.LOL.

OMG we laughed all night long & he is still calling me "Nancy". I can definitely do a SNL mono log!!!

My Christmas gift this year will be to find the 1st posts you ever made on loansafe, because they made me laugh, they helped me in my darkest times, they renewed my faith in the human race.

I need to recapture that, right about now. I love you my friend, always will.

I hope & pray you have a Joyous, Happy, Full of Love, Holiday Season.
 

CAbooboo

LoanSafe Member
Jan 22, 2017
66
9
8
My Dear, Dear Friend. I'd like to share a story. (LOL on bagels it would be a "wanda rant").

I got tired of looking like a skunk with my gray roots showing(I wish I never dyed my hair to begin with. Vanity is a sin in my book). So I dyed my roots, just couldn't stand how they looked. Hating every minute, when it came time to dry my hair I took a shortcut. I swear to God when I looked in the mirror I saw Nancy Pelosi. I don't wear makeup, but I swear Nancy was staring at me. So hubby & I played it out. I made him put my Grandmother's pearl necklace on me & I put on a silk shirt that I never wear. I stood behind the sofa because my bottoms were sweat pants.LOL.

OMG we laughed all night long & he is still calling me "Nancy". I can definitely do a SNL mono log!!!

My Christmas gift this year will be to find the 1st posts you ever made on loansafe, because they made me laugh, they helped me in my darkest times, they renewed my faith in the human race.

I need to recapture that, right about now. I love you my friend, always will.

I hope & pray you have a Joyous, Happy, Full of Love, Holiday Season.
Wanda
Too funny! I think somewhere along the line I noted we’re very close in age. Not sure why I mention that. Maybe cuz I can relate to the roots .. not that the skunker look is indicative of age. Off on a tangent like I do. Similar to your rant. RE hair.. I am EXTREMELY fussy (childhood chubby insecurity about my looks). My mom used to say if I were as picky about my nails as I am my hair, I’d have nice nails. Good ol’ New Jersey farm girl who went to Beauty School and became a manicurist after dads military career. And there’s that tangent again ..

On track ... your “Nancy” story reminded me of my political likeness. A character I morphed into one year for Halloween. I went as the Back Woods Sarah Palin. Yep .. poofed my hair, put on my eye glasses, wore camo pants and donned a bandolier w/ lipstick. Found a rhinestone pin that said “Sarah” - just in case someone was stumped. Was much thinner then - ah yes, those were the days - and could easily get around without moaning n groaning. Note to self: Dear God, thank you for the fact I’m still above ground and can walk - albeit not too far from a cane, crutch or sturdy piece of furniture. Amen.

Don’t catch Saturday Night Live anymore. Seems too much political bashing. Love the older stuff ... Skits by Tina Fey as Palin. Very funny, IMHO. She was soooo spot on! And am reminded of Chris Farley (RIP) cuz had my niece not taken me in when I lost my home, I’d be “living in a van (SUV) down by the river”. Oh the infamous skits that come to mind. Could go on n on but gotta run... errr .... um ... I mean carefully walk.

Hope this gave you a little chuckle.
Have mahvalous day.
BTW I’m sure your new coiffed doo looks mahvalous, simply mahvalous dahling !
Take care
 

FedUp02

LoanSafe Member
Apr 26, 2009
996
109
43
My Dear, Dear Friend. I'd like to share a story. (LOL on bagels it would be a "wanda rant").

I got tired of looking like a skunk with my gray roots showing(I wish I never dyed my hair to begin with. Vanity is a sin in my book). So I dyed my roots, just couldn't stand how they looked. Hating every minute, when it came time to dry my hair I took a shortcut. I swear to God when I looked in the mirror I saw Nancy Pelosi. I don't wear makeup, but I swear Nancy was staring at me. So hubby & I played it out. I made him put my Grandmother's pearl necklace on me & I put on a silk shirt that I never wear. I stood behind the sofa because my bottoms were sweat pants.LOL.

OMG we laughed all night long & he is still calling me "Nancy". I can definitely do a SNL mono log!!!

My Christmas gift this year will be to find the 1st posts you ever made on loansafe, because they made me laugh, they helped me in my darkest times, they renewed my faith in the human race.

I need to recapture that, right about now. I love you my friend, always will.

I hope & pray you have a Joyous, Happy, Full of Love, Holiday Season.
Wanda - Thanks for sharing that story with us. Nancy huh? That is funny. Did you have overly opened eyes too?

Hmm, first posts. Thank you so much. That made my day. That was quite a while back. I can't remember exactly when anymore. Maybe look yours up too! Thanks again.