The Emotional Side of Foreclosure

[The Professor]

CNN reported today that a ninety (90) year old woman, facing eviction after a Countrywide foreclosure, shot herself. Folks, no matter how much you care for your home, there is "life after foreclosure." Know that we are here to help you.

Daniel

For the story, see:
Woman, 90, shoots self inside foreclosed home - CNN.com

[Dan Bailey]

I think, there is a difference between people who see a house as a fiscal investment, a commodity-or any of those words; and someone who sees it as something entirely different.

How do you tell...a ninety year old woman, that there is life after foreclosure? What do you promise her? A lovely room in a nursing home?

How do you tell, anyone who has been in there home(not house) for years and years that there is life after foreclosure?

That home in the picture, certainly didn't look like the McMansions that were thrown up and bought up in the last 5 years...it certainly didnt look like a flippers property-or an investment property...I kind of doubt it had satelite enabled flat screen surround sound system, granite countertops, 3 cars with payments on each, all those "things"....

In fact, it looked more like a larger version of my home or the old lady next door to my home. It lookes like a home where someone plans each meal according to price, who doesnt pay someone to do their gardening, doesnt have credit card debt, saves money for thanksgiving/xmas dinner and to buy candy for kids who may come around at halloween....

I'm sorry...I am not an accountant, or a person with any business knowledge at all..no knowledge of law. But I can fix 80-90% of my own home if need be. I can keep my old payed for jeep running..I can be responsible enough not to add to my burden even more by buying "things" that are unneccesary-that some consider the "luxuries" that are needed in life. My home is all that is necessary, for me.

I can completely empathise with the emotions that would drive someone to that much of an act of desperation...I've often said to myself "It will take a swat team to get me out".
I'm sorry..I don't think in numbers,balance sheets, percentages (maybe this is why I dont even care about sports) Maybe this is evidence that I dont even deserve a home. But I am here. For many years.

I mean no disrespect. I know there are others here who understand the money/politics much, much more than I do...in fact, I'd bet most do. I know it's "bad" that I am a more emotionaly driven person....but what kind of life after foreclosure? Half my time in this world has been devoted to my home.

Once again, I mean no disrespect...I know I'm just a dumb bumpkin. I truely do hope I am not the only person to see my home as just figures on a spreadsheet. And I will probably get in trouble for typing out my big mouth. I'm angry at the thought of what happened to this lady. I'm not looking for "poor pitiful me" I guess I'm just saying...there are areas of grey...there are some looking to save an investment/credit score, and some looking to save a home.

[cactus77727]

Reading this post reminded me of a long forgetten quote I learned when I was much younger. It is incredibly empowering if you fully understand it.

It is by Viktor Frankl, a man who suffered and survived the World War II German concentration camps:

"...everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."


Debt, credit scores, mortgages, homes, cars, are all meaningless. They are all made-up systems, and are rigged in favor of the powerful people who created them. Kind of like a casino: over time the house always wins.

These systems are NOT 'who you are'. We've all just been brainwashed to think that they define us. Your life is worth more than any building, no matter how long you've lived there.

And if that doesn't help you, then realize that in only one hundred years, we will all be dust anyway. AND, no one will care if you had a good credit score or not.

As frustrated and angry I am about my own situation, (I will be losing my home to foreclosure), in the end it doesn't really matter. Even if you are completely alone in your situation, and there is no one to help you, and it feels like it will get worse before is gets better... YOU still have the power to choose what you are going to do about it.

[Irish Gal]

Update:

That poor woman ("Addie") survived and is in the hospital, hopefully, recovering. I just read (CNN) that Fannie Mae (mortgage holder) wrote off the balance of her mortgage (once her story hit the media) so she now owns her home - free and clear. Of course, this only occurred because of the media blitz involved and Fannie Mae's exposure for how it "helps struggling homeowners." It's unbelievable how these mortgage companies (with straight faces) continue to claim to be "doing all we can to help struggling homeowners." Although I would never allow these white collar criminals to put me in such an emotional state - if I were 90 yrs old, living alone, isolated, had lived in my home since 1970, lived on a fixed income, couldn't afford to pay for my prescription meds, was depressed (as many elderly are anyways), and then had to spend my feeble, lonely days avoiding some sheriff who was ordered by the white collar criminals to evict me - yea - it might get to me. If someone doesn't make an (award-winning) documentary soon about this mortgage meltdown, and what is TRULY continuing to happen to homeowner victims all over this country, I'm going to have to do it myself ! C'mon Michael Moore. We need someone to tell the whole truth about the struggling homeowners stories. The media continues to report over and over again about "homeowners who should never have taken out these loans" blah blah blah. Yea right. How come the media continues to completely overlook the real criminals: predatory lenders, predatory investors, predatory servicers. Bogus loan mod offers. Poor Addie was 86 years old when she refinanced (with Countrywide of course !!! ). Was she even mentally competent when she signed her loan docs ? When I look at other countries that actually care about and take care of their citizens instead of abuse and victimize them for greed and profit, it is very saddening. What's even more sad is how these white collar criminals have so badly broken the spirits of maintream America - no one seems to have the energy to fight back, in a big way. We just sit and wait for these ineffective and corrupt politicians to see the light - which they never do. I was disgusted watching them all on t.v. the other day patting each other on the backs for what great representatives of the people they all are and what great jobs they all just did coming up w/ the latest "rescue" Bill for Wall St. Then they all probably had a (4 star) celebration dinner that night on our dime.

Sorry, I wish I had something more positive to write. I haven't ranted in awhile. But, it's still grim out there folks. Keep your priorities straight. Take care of yourselves and your loved ones. Don't let these predators break you. They're not worth it. They can take your $ (if you let them) and your home, but that's about it. They CAN'T take your attitude, your sense of humor, spirituality, health, the love in your heart, your wonderful families, pets, etc. That you have control over. Don't give any of that up. You WILL get through these tough times. And, if you're Irish, you just might even have a laugh or two along the way ... As a wise relative used to say: "It's a great life - if you don't die living it!"

God Bless Addie.

Peace out.

Irish Gal

[nblair70]

I read this story when it first broke, and it broke my heart then and it still breaks my heart now.

But it happens all the time...the elderly being taken advantage of...even before the mortgage crisis - it was something else.

As Dan said, where are you going to tell a 90 year old woman were to go? What life is she going to have after they take her home? Why did it take her shooting herself before someone stepped in and did something?

I read another story of a woman in Boston who killed herself (I think she also shot herself) when she was being foreclosed on. The worst part was her husband had no idea - she took care of all the bills.

Unfortunately I understand those emotions. When I first found out how bad things were, I thought "I have life insurance, it will take care of the back payments". Luckily I found this forum first...otherwise you may have been reading a story about me too.

Through all of our stories, I have seen I am not alone. That I can have life after foreclosure and that everything will work out exactly as it is supposed to. My kids have been great too, they are teenagers - so when they heard me/saw me crying I didn't keep the truth from them. I told them we are doing everything we can to fix it, but we might loose the house. They both were somewhat upset, but as long as we are together - that is what matters to them. My daughter even told me tonight she wouldn't mind moving to an apartment because then maybe we would have more money and she could buy clothes. (she has pleanty of clothes, she just would like to be able to shop at AE all the time..)

So I keep the faith, keep holding on, hope to get a loan mod before they drag my butt out of my house in the snow. But if it comes to that, I know I will be okay. Somehow.

[PBROOKELKLND]

It is such a sad state we live in when you hear day in and day out on mainstream media how the people that got in over their heads have caused the mortgage crisis. When in fact I believe at least 90% of us that are in this situation were not trying to make a fast buck just trying to do what we felt was best for our family. When we relocated two years ago we did not know that our first home would not sell. We weren't even trying to make money on the sale, we just wanted to sell it and payoff the mortgage. How was I to know that the value of both the houses was going to drop so drastically and consequently ruin our plan to refinance into a low fixed rate before the apr hit? How were we to know that my husband's company (where he has worked for the last 19 years) was to lose business due to the state of the economy and he is now reduced to a 2 -3day? We even had a good savings to fall back on, however month after month of this reduction in our income has taken its toll. Months of trying to work a loan mod out with Wells Fargo is taking its toll too. Thank God I can at least pray for peace through this all and not lose hope like that poor woman did.

I just do not understand why these banks cannot just rewrite the loan if we are saying we want to stay in our homes? Why is it that they would rather foreclose and rob people of our pride and our homes?