Construction Loan to Permanent Loan

[IBDebJ]

My husband and I engaged in a construction loan with Wells Fargo. The construction loan was to reach maturity in one year. We were told this was a one time closing. Understanding that it would convert to a permanent loan when we received the certificate of occupancy.
The construction took more than 12 months to complete. No problem, Wells Fargo simply added $500 to the loan for each 3 month period. Once we submitted the certificate of occupancy, Wells Fargo ran another credit check, and stated our debt to income ratio was did not meet their criteria for a permanent loan. However, the loan specialist was trying to see what he could do.
After many voice messages and emails to the loan specialist and his assistant, we finally received a call from the specialist informing us that Wells Fargo could not process our loan and we would have to find a permanent loan elsewhere. When we complained about our previous loan agreement, that this was a one time closing, we were told that the rules have changed and he did everything he could.
Within minutes after this discussion, we received an email from the Wells Fargo underwriter's assistant requesting additional information. We provided the requested information, then again no word. Emails requesting the status have resulted in responses that only indicate they will check with the underwriter. Meanwhile, Wells Fargo continues to add another $500 to the loan every 3 months. The loan specialist informed me that he would waive the $500 fee. However, requests regarding if this has been done are not answered. But hey, neither are the requests regarding status.
We do not know what to do. Of course our debt to income is high. We built a house and purchased upgrades and items for the house. We have not had any lates or missed payments for over three years. The only thing that has reduced our credit scores is the high balances on the credit cards. But, we pay them and we pay more than the minimum.
The loan specialist did contact a mortgage lender who stated they do higher debt to income ratios and said they would get back to me after the loan specialist sends my information to them. We haven't heard from them either. We don't know if Wells Fargo is still working on the loan (for sure), so we don't want to contact this other lender. We don't want all these people conducting credit checks and lowering our scores due to that. We had that happen prior to the construction loan, so don't let anyone tell you "it doesn't affect your score that much."