Modification denied 1st time & said if I can show contribution, that will help. Advice!

[mcadoo]

I am so glad that I have come upon this site. I am so glad that I am not the only one out there with this problem. Not that I feel any better, but just knowing that I am not alone, does help.

I have been in modification for 14 months now. I called them before any of this transpired and asked if I could get a payment deferred, I was advised that they did not do that. I have been with Chase for 8 yrs and I must say that I was NOT late on my payment not one single time. It is very hurtful that they could not work with me during this time when my other lendors, whom I had been late on just to make sure I got my house payment paid on time, would and did defer payments. How messed up is that? I was advised to stop making payments, so that Chase would work with me.

Now my credit is completely ruined, I have been turned down for modification one time, stating that my income was not enough to cover my dept....well you think? I have recently married since the purchase of my home 8 yrs ago, but my spouse has a mortgage too. The house is only in my name, but he can show that he can contribute to me each month, but we do not want to put that he can contribute a certain amount and it be too much and my payment is only reduced by a small amount or it be too small and I am denied again. Can anyone help with what the percentage, amount, etc....is advice?

We are both self employeed, so we never know what our monthly income is going to be, but we know on an average. My house is 41 years old and it is home to me and to my daughters ages 3, & 11. I do not want to loose my home, but cannot afford $1900 amonth with an interest rate of 7.5%. Which I am litterally only paying 1 payment a year and the rest is going to interest. Its sad....we know what we can afford with all of our bills and want our payment around $1000-$1200(at the most), but do not want to keep going through all of this process over and over again, as I have for the past 14 mos!! I can not sleep and it is killing me mentally & physically.
Any help would be greatly appreciated. I am so tired of feeling out that 4506T form, I could puke! I know I have faxed over 200 papers and had to pay my accountant to do P&Ls so many times, it is ridiculous and everyperson tells you something different! Im just ready for some peace & understanding....Im a good person, always paid my bills until this and I WANT my home!

[Maurice Bedard]

We are glad you found this forum as well and thanks so much for sharing your story. It is people like you who make this a community of caring people.

Please watch my video answer to your question. I hope it helps you.

[Hoping For the Best]

Thank You, Moe, for the Encouragement

I was delighted to watch the video, with your upbeat message. Each of us is dealing with individual problems, foreclosure (pushed back for now), modification (but payment still too high for part-time salary), credit card suits (Asset Acceptance, anyone?), relationship upsets (due to financial crisis), and more. One step forward and one step back.

Thanks for the personal message to the new blogger, that however it turns out, we are important people to someone.

[Maurice Bedard]

Thanks so much for the kind words. I do care about you all and hope for nothing but the best for you. If you get pushed one step back, take two giant steps forward and never let up. Remember to think positive. This will work out for you, I promise!

[Tarin Myhairout]

Mcadoo and everyone:

I was heartened by Moe's encouraging video! And he is right.. When you quit chasing the ONLY answer, others will come to you.

At first I didn't believe all the people who have come on this Forum to say "It was a blessing in disguise for us to have to wake up to the way we were living our lives. It was the worst thing, and also the best thing."

You might not yet be at the place where you can think of alternatives, but you will get there. It is easier to do if you can detach from the emotional turmoil. And when it happens; try to be open to the possibilities that present themselves. You will be pleasantly surprised, I promise!

We are not our businesses, professions, mortgage payments, real estate, or our credit scores. We are children of the Universe doing the best we can to find our way in the world. We are designed for happiness and fulfillment, and richly deserving of both.

Sometimes we just need a reason to re-evaluate what we are doing, and why. Whatever you ultimately decide to do, please be sure you have allowed yourself to consider the 'what ifs' first.

Actor T. Michael Rambo said that when he expressed fear as he set out into the world, his Granny told him:

"It will be ok. And even if itisn't; it will still be ok."

Granny was right.

My best to all of you!

Tarin

[Maurice Bedard]

That was so great Tarin! Thanks so much for sharing.

Yes, we are all children of the universe and we are spiritual beings caught in this material world. I know this may seem new age to some people, but it is a fact and we are now moving into this type of world where it will require strong spirits to take us out of this mad world or consumer goods and snake oil sales into a new economy that will be much better thank this one we have now.

However, it will be a painful ride until we get there but in the end, we will be ok

My best to you and everyone else in 2012 as well!

[mcadoo]

Thank You so much for the video Moe, it indeed brought tears to my eyes. I know Im not a bad person, but during all of this, you just feel like you have done something wrong, especially during Christmas when I was buying my childrens presents and knowing that I havent paid my mortgage payment.....I have thought of other plans, but nothing in stone. We have talked with several banks, but with the requirements these days, it would probably require a co-signer and I know no-one wants to do that this day and time. Our only down side to relocating is that we live on a farm, which I forgot to mention. Its not just us that would have to relocate, but alot of animals as well. Some Ive had for 17yrs and are considered family too. I just know that if there is a will, there is away. I am going to keep my head high and be positive. I am a very determined person and it takes alot for me to give up, I am just ready for closure with all of this. The worry has aged me tramendously! (no joke)
Again, Thank you for taking the time Moe and making a video for me, it means alot. I hope to have positive comments back on here soon!!!

[Tarin Myhairout]

Hi again McAdoo:

Our only down side to relocating is that we live on a farm, which I forgot to mention. Its not just us that would have to relocate, but alot of animals as well. Some Ive had for 17yrs and are considered family too.

I do agree that this is a complication. Even though I am not at risk of foreclosure myself, I am involved because I am helping my daughter who nearly lost her home in a wrongful foreclosure. (We are not out of the woods yet, but thanks to the help of the people on this Forum, we are making progress, and there is hope!) I have been consumed with HAMP loan modification since May of 2011 - and it seems like years.

I live on a farm, too. The most painful casualty of this nightmare is that I had to give up my beloved Gottland Pony. I have had him for only 7 years, but he is just 13 years old, and likely to outlive me. I honestly NEVER contemplated not having him. He is a pony, after all - easy to keep, and a joy in my life! The unendurable stress of this experience meant that I was doing nothing more than physically maintaining him. (I have an autoimmune disorder that limits my mobility and is worsened by stress.) In the space of a few short months of dealing with a scheme designed to make you fail (Hamp loan modification), my health had declined so alarmingly that I began to fear I wouldn't be able to care for my pony during the long, cold Minnesota winters.

The last straw was when US Bank foreclosed on my daughter's house in October 2011 after they said they wouldn't. I had to move in with her to help her manage things (and make that contribution you mentioned) - that meant I wouldn't be able to keep my pony, because he would not be welcome in St. Paul. People who don't have a heart connection to animals don't understand how traumatic this is. (I always completely understood why the people in New Orleans wouldn't leave without their pets when Hurricane Katrina struck, didn't you?) And living in the city is not a good a thing for people like me who belong on a farm. Nonetheless, I had to face the reality that I am only one person. I couldn't be in two places at once, and a single expensive accident or illness (all too common with animals) could have jeopardized the farm and my daughter's home.

It took me a long time to get there; but I realized that keeping my pony would be best for me -but not for him. He deserves someone to adore him every day; lots of brushing, some carrots, good walks, maybe go for a drive once in a while. I reluctantly started looking for a new home for him, and was shocked at the number of really, really (monetarily) valuable animals who can't even be given away - there are that many farms going under. I didn't give up, though. (I didn't post a 'free to good home' ad, because that invites a lot of questionable responses.)

I started viewing the 'wanted' ads, without regard to the money offered. I ultimately found the perfect home for my pony (honestly, a better home than I had been providing for many months) and now I receive regular updates and photos from his new family, along with many thanks for making their lives complete. I have re-homed other animals in the past that didn't work out so well, so I was better prepared this time, to make sure the people had the right motivations.

This is a long way of saying that there are options. 6 months ago, I would have laughed in the face of anyone who suggested that I wouldn't still have my pony (and all my other animals) in January 2012. I miss him terribly, but I am happy that he has a loving home and is enriching the lives of another family. He was my perfect pony. They are his perfect family; and that is what counts above all else.

Unpacking my feelings about the animals did a lot to help me with this; and believe me, those feelings were very, very complicated. (We still have other animals on our farm, but they are less expensive and don't require the same level of emotional attention.) This is not a choice I would have made under other circumstances; but it was necessary, and now I am starting to see that elusive 'silver lining'.

Like people, when animals get older their care becomes more complicated and more expensive; I had earlier learned the hard lessons about not letting go when I should have. Even for the young and healthy ones, I was surprised to learn just how expensive the ponies had been - we had always just paid, and considered it a kind of cost-of-living (and I always said, "well, we don't take vacations, eat out, or have cable - we just have animals")

Now, it is good not to have that additional financial stress, and I hadn't even realized what a stress it had been! ( I am also selfishly, secretly glad that I don't have to figure out how to move the hay in when it is stuck in a snow drift, or fight 30 mph winds to fill the water tank with a frozen hose in -20 degree weather.)

I hope that you do find a way to keep everything you have - if you decide that is what you want. I just encourage you to consider the alternatives to continually dealing with the kind of financial pressure you are under.

Suggestions:

Maybe, if your credit is already ruined, you should speak with a bankruptcy attorney, or look at other options. Is there a special program somewhere for a farm? Might there be a private person who could step forward with a solution? With even a reasonable market interest-rate loan, you could breathe.

I don't have personal experience with them, but many on this Forum swear by the people at the Rest Report. You already have all your financial information at hand, so it couldn't hurt to run it by them.

I know this is taking a terrible toll on your relationships and your health; and that cannot continue. You are not the engaged parent or wife that you want to be if you are constantly worried about money. ( But please don't equate your bill paying status with your self-worth.)

I have only been involved with this Forum for a short time - a REAL newbie! But I know that I could not have come this far without the generosity of the people who had already been through this nightmare. There is much help and support here. Please come back and tell us what you decided, because we do care about you, and want to know.

As Always,

Tarin